you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
