Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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