Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
