oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
