I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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