Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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