Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just gargled with NyQuil
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
