So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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