In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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