Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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