It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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