There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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