community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
