Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
