I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Everything about him screamed your future.
organizing the empties. That sober.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
