Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
