i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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