I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
