I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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