i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
