South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
