just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
