OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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