At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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