I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
