i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
