I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
