...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
