I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
