so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
