we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
