do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
