i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
