What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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