Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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