It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
