she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
