your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
