Hey man sorry I got all grabby
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I can't turn off my feet"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
