and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Randomize
