I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
