so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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