What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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