Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
