been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
