that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
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