i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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