Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
