she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
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I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
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He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.