Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"