Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them

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  (630): Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them http://tfl.nu/urf6
  Replies (55) Good night (3828) Bad night (569)
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  (914): View more from New York

  We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.

  (1-914): View more from New York

  Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award

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  (914): We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream. (1-914): Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award http://tfl.nu/nl5u
  Replies (7) Good night (4483) Bad night (520)
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  (661): View more from California

  May God have mercy on my new vibrator.

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  (661): May God have mercy on my new vibrator. http://tfl.nu/qino
  Replies (98) Good night (8609) Bad night (1159)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women

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  (678): nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women http://tfl.nu/ny5s
  Replies (11) Good night (5071) Bad night (3092)
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  (408): View more from California

  Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.

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  (408): Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities. http://tfl.nu/yskk
  Replies (2) Good night (1935) Bad night (687)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex

  (773): View more from Illinois

  SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?

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  (617): So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex (773): SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard? http://tfl.nu/5vnv
  Replies (22) Good night (3594) Bad night (928)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.

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  (419): I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation. http://tfl.nu/3fs0
  Replies (3) Good night (1781) Bad night (779)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.

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  (307): I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA. http://tfl.nu/w3eq
  Replies (5) Good night (1744) Bad night (614)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.

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  (731): I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come. http://tfl.nu/qxho
  Replies (5) Good night (1123) Bad night (1720)
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  (714): View more from California

  We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.

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  (714): We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked. http://tfl.nu/xyq8
  Replies (7) Good night (1443) Bad night (1048)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.

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  (917): Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up. http://tfl.nu/5qka
  Replies (14) Good night (2166) Bad night (841)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.

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  (506): Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second. http://tfl.nu/am2u
  Replies (1) Good night (1347) Bad night (809)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull

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  (651): Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull http://tfl.nu/fvhw
  Replies (2) Good night (729) Bad night (1189)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.

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  (517): passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night. http://tfl.nu/smsc
  Replies (5) Good night (462) Bad night (778)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.

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  (423): I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay. http://tfl.nu/or95
  Replies (2) Good night (959) Bad night (311)

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