i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
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You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
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I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My dick has a subreddit
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.