We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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