Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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