dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
