I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
