I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
