Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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