i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I faked an abortion last night.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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