i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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