I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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