I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
