i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
