Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
